


Cashing It In Before Twenty Seven

by Scribbling_Scribe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Blow Jobs, First Time, Going Above and Beyond for a Best Friend, Hand Jobs, Humanstuck, M/M, Mentions of Casual Sex, Premature Ejaculation, The start of something beautiful, accidental facials
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:27:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribbling_Scribe/pseuds/Scribbling_Scribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which there is a Virgin- though it might not be who you think it is-, and then there is not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cashing It In Before Twenty Seven

There were not many things that Karkat Vantas could say he enjoyed, right off the top of his head. He could acknowledge that he was a pretty grumpy kind of guy, though he would also be quick to remind anyone within ear shot that it was because he was constantly surrounded by a group of morons all the fucking time. For all of his foul tempers, though, there was always something that could bring a smile to his face.

Movie Night.

It didn’t matter who it was with, or what they were watching. He held Pan night with Tavros and Ugly, Sweaty Actors in Shitty Action Flicks in the same high regard as he did Military and/or Fantasy of the Wizarding variety movies with Eridan and (Spaghetti) Westerns with Nepeta and Equius. If you were a friend with Karkat, then you watched movies with him.

It wasn’t that he enjoyed all movies. Most Disney movies drove him absolutely bug nuts with their idealist drivel( or had him sobbing into his pillow, which he would Never allow any one to see), and cookie cutter action plots( *coughcoughIndianJonesoranyJamesBondfuckingTerminatormoviescoughcough*) bored him to tears. Chick flicks and Dramas were always a danger of making him fall asleep( or cry, okay, he had a tendency of getting emotionally attached to stupid characters but that was what he was Supposed to do he is completely Normal, shut the fuck up). But what you enjoy watching, and how you watch them, tells a lot about a person. And by watching movies with his friends, it allowed Karkat insights that could probably have taken years to dig up all on himself.

If nothing else, it had taught him to never get on sweet princess Feferi’s bad side. She paid _way_ too much attention to her horror movies, and was disquietingly skilled with a knife.

But his favorite Movie Nights were the ones that he spent with his best friend, one equally curmudgeonly Sollux Captor.

Sollux wasn’t a big movie watcher. Or television watcher, for that matter. Or even a reader. Not that he couldn’t enjoy any of those things- the nerd did have a bit of a fondness for Bladerunner and Farscape, and they could bond pretty well over Firefly. It was just that, usually, if you gave him the choice between being on his computer(s) and playing video games, or the option to do pretty much anything else, electronics won pretty much every time.

Which was probably why Karkat loved watching movies with him the most. It was little concessions, the way he’d occasionally go out of his way just to do something for his small friend that really just solidified their friendship in ways that awkwardly muttered words never could. It was just a time for them to relax, take a break from the rest of the world, and just bask in some nonjudgmental quality time of being near each other without snarking- too much, at least.

That kind of atmosphere was what lead to Karkat’s guard to be down enough to talk about a movie he’d recently watched, and for Sollux to respond in a way that he never would have expected in a million years.

“Forty Year Old Virgin? Heh, Jethuth. Do me a favor, KK, and if I make it to twentytheven without lothing the V-card, jutht put me out of my mithery and kill me?”

Karkat didn’t respond, at first, driven to speechlessness. Which was not, actually, all that uncommon of a thing to happen. The pause when he’s talking via some kind of instant messenger wasn’t as noticeable, easily disguised as him just writing a novel of insults or disbelief in large, gray caps. In real life, though, the way the gears worked in his head to process what he heard, the way his mouth would work, chapped lips moving slightly, mouthing the words he was trying to string together before finally, finally his brows would furrow, his verbal course set, could never be mistaken for anything but being driven to a complete loss of words.

“You’re a virgin.” Just by tone, it was a statement, repeating the conclusion that his brain came to after translating the half Italian’s lisp, but his eyes were wide, surprised, looking for any sign that he heard him wrong, or that Sollux was just pulling his leg.

The tall, lanky man didn’t even bother trying to look embarrassed, smirking toothily, cockily, the smarmy bastard.

“Did I thutter?”

“You’re a virgin. As in, you haven’t had the full sex.”

“Wow, I didn’t think it wath pothible, but you made yourthelf thound like even more of a douthe then uthual. Do uth all a favor, and never thay ‘the full theckth’ ever again, yeah?”

“As in never once,” Karkat continued, as if he’d never been interrupted in the first place. “Not with Aradia. Not with Feferi.”

Even behind his absolutely( endearingly) ridiculous two-toned sunglasses, in the relative dark of his best friend’s living/entertainment room, Karkat could see his odd colored eyes rolling.

“I actually got further with TZ the I did with either of them.” Then it was Karkat’s turn to wince. His close friend/longtime crush/ex-quasi-ocassionally something like a girlfriend was still, and honestly probably always would be a bit of a sore spot with him, even with Sollux. Maybe especially with Sollux, who he’d always had another set of special feelings set aside for; a soft, squishy, vulnerable spot on his heart with his ridiculous name branded all over it. “Jeeth, KK, and here i thought you’d be eckthatic that we would have thith in common.”

“In... common?” And Karkat, so distracted by trying to believe the fact that Sollux Captor, ladies man extraordinaire( pffft) had somehow managed to go his entire life without getting his dick wet, ended up admitting something that he hadn’t told anyone but Kanaya about for years.

“But, I’m not a virgin.”

There was a long, awkward moment where they just sat there, on their respected sides of Sollux’s beat up old couch, both speechless and shocked, before the taller one spat out a long, imaginative curse, actually _pouting_ as he shifted, trying to shove his fingers in his pocket, to pull out his phone.

“Ugh! That bitch; we promithed! We pinky thwore!”

“What? _What?_ Bitch? Promised? What the actual fuck are you going on about?” He recoiled a bit from the sudden spastic movements of Sollux, from the frustration in his voice, but was unable to quell his own curiosity.

“Terezi!” he snapped, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, getting into his pocket, only to find not his cell, but a few crumpled sticky notes from earlier that day. “We thwore that the firtht one of uth to get in your high waithted panth would tell the other all about it! In eckcruthiating detail at least, or thow the other a video of it! And the cackling witch held out on me!”

Giving up on the search for his phone, he slumped back against the arm of his couch, looking petulant and put upon.

”...The fuck? Of all the rancid, semi-liquid, half digested _horse_ shit that has ever spewed out of the snaggled tooth gutterhole you call a mouth, that is the most imbecilic drivel I have ever heard. And I am a fucking connoisseur of barnyard diarrhea. My ears have only the finest fucking palette for- Jesus fucking Christ on a Donkey, I’ve never had sex with Terezi!” His tone and hands rose higher as he continued, gesticulating harshly until the end, just letting his hands fall down, crossing his arms across his chest and glaring indignantly at the television, the long forgotten movie rolling through it’s credits.

It was Sollux’s turn to be momentarily struck speechless, and under any other circumstances, Karkat would be crowing, grabbing the nearest available calender and writing a note down on the date to remember it in infamy as a day that Sollux Captor did _not_ have a shitty retort right off the tip of his tongue, as he’d done the past seven times it had happened in the decade that he’d known the guy. But he was too... pissed wasn’t the right word for it, if only because he hadn’t had enough time to _really_ soak in the fact that two of his closest friends had made fucking plans on what they would do if either of them fucked him, and dammit, what he did in bed( or on the couch or in the shower or against a wall) was between him and that person he was in bed ( couch/shower/wall) with, and absolutely no one else’s business. But he was definitely on the far side of annoyed.

Which his friend must have seen, because it was a much more hesitant and subdued Sollux that asked him, “Tho... who was it?”

The soft tone was the only thing that kept Karkat from snapping at him, and shit, sometimes he was just too nice of a guy. “You seriously wouldn’t believe me, even if I told you.”

Karkat didn’t want to be softened, but his words had obviously started Sollux thinking, and fuck it all, his thinking face had always been endearing. It was the same exact expression he’d had as a kid: brows furrowed slightly, the tip of his tongue sticking out of the left side of his mouth, a quiet hum in his throat mimicking the wheels turning in his head.

“EQ...?”

“E... who? You mean- Equius? Good God! You _seriously_ think he’d stop daydreaming about getting balls deep in his high horse long enough to do more then awkwardly demand that I flirt with him? Let alone that he’d stoop to fuck with _me_ , of all people!?”

“How the fuck thould I know? I can’t think of any one elthe you’d keep a thecret from me, _and_ wouldn’t have bragged about it to everyone elth themthelf.”

“I didn’t- it wasn’t a secret,” Karkat sputtered, blinking dark auburn eyes, more then a little surprised at the tone of Sollux’s voice, the way his voice came out sounding like an accusation. “It was just... There was just never anything to say about it.”

“Bullthit, Karkat. There’th no way a Bleeding Heart like you doethn’t have _thomething_ to that about hith firtht time. At leatht tell me who it wath with?” There was a pause, before he added in a softer tone, “Pleathe?”

Karkat hesitated for a moment, and made the mistake of glancing at Sollux’s face. For such an insufferable dickweed, he was damn good at making sad puppy dog eyes.

“Holy balls...” Karkat grunted, raising his hands up as a signal of surrender, because really, it wasn’t worth getting into a fight over, when it came right down to it. “It was Gamzee.”

“ _Makara!?_ You got down with the fucking _Clown_ , and you never _told_ me!?” Sollux started to laugh, not even his usual hissing little sniggers, but full on, shoulder shaking belly laughs, only laughing even harder when Karkat growled, grabbed the pillow he’d been leaning against, and threw it at his face.

“Go ahead and laugh, _Virgin_. At least I got some ass!”

The pillow was tossed back at him, which he managed to block, only to get tackled by a skinny sack of bones and sharp angles and best friendness, which wasn’t nearly as easy to fend off.

“Wath it that bad?” he lisped practically in Karkat’s ear as he shifted, wrapping his long bony frame around Karkat’s stocky one, too many slippery limbs for the smaller man to be able to successfully remove. Not that he actually wanted to, despite the fact that he was more then a little annoyed with the guy, and the fact that he wasn’t exactly comfortable, all knees and elbows and pointy bits. He was warm- his metabolism made him like a space heater even at his coldest-, and, well, even though he’d never say it out loud, Karkat liked cuddles. Any cuddles. All the cuddles he could get, whenever he could get them, _especially_ if he didn’t have to ask for them.

But he didn’t have to behave like he liked it, pouting and frowning and turning his head away, even as he shifted to get more comfortable beside and under his friend. “No, it wasn’t bad. It was just-“

It was okay. Not exactly the words Karkat ever thought he’d ever associate to his first time. It was still better then being terrible, but... it was just okay. Gamzee hadn’t hurt him, had actually been surprisingly gentle when he’d touched him, stretched him, penetrated him. Sure, Karkat hadn’t gotten off, but that was alright, because Gamzee had, and it had hurt at first but then it felt pretty good to be all filled up. Not, like, orgasmically good, but comfortingly good. Like, good to know that somebody liked him enough to want to do that with him. Like, good to be that connected to somebody else in such a fundamentally physical kind of way.

So what if Gamzee had always fallen asleep right afterwards, from the first time to the last, without so much as more then a pat on the back, or a high five, good job on the sex motherfucker. No kisses, no cuddles, no aftercare, leaving Karkat to finish himself off with his hand, when he felt like getting off afterwards, because he’d never been able to cum with Gamzee inside of him, too overwhelmed with the feeling of being stretched to get past it into orgasm, no matter how good it might have felt.

It was alright, because Karkat hadn’t been expecting anything else. They weren’t doing it out of love. Gamzee didn’t like Karkat that way, and Karkat certainly didn’t feel anything more then friendship for him. It had been a purely physical transaction. Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. And it was

“Alright. It was alright.”

And that, really, was all there was to say on the matter.

“Fuck.” It was quiet, a harsh whisper that Karkat almost wasn’t sure that he’d heard, at first, except that suddenly his head was being grabbed by long, spindly fingers, pressing his face into the thin crook of Sollux’s neck, his prominent collarbone making itself known against Karkat’s chin. “It literally phythically painth me to thee Mithter Romcom taking thith tho calmly. You’re breaking my fucking heart, KK.”

“Oh my god, do you really have to add drama to everything? It was fine. I enjoyed it. And I don’t see how this could possibly effect you.” But it was surprisingly sweet, that Sollux would worry about him like that, made him feel kind of warm and fuzzy, and he was glad for his friends melodramatics, since it meant that his face was hidden, and so was the way his dusky cheeks were starting to heat up.

“But you’re not thuppothed to fucking be _fine_ with it, KK. You’re thuppothed to have thome magical, fairytale firtht time, with the printhe or printheth of your choithe thweeping you off your thtubby little feet.” And what he said would have been insulting, if Sollux hadn’t been so adamant about it, tone low and limbs tightening around Karkat, fingers tightening in his hair. It was nice to hear the guy actually gave that many shits about him, especially when they went out of their way so often to not actually admit anything of the sort out loud. “Why would you even agree to it, if it wath jutht going to be ‘okay’?”

“Because- hold up for a second, this is really fucking uncomfortable,” he grunted, shimmying and shifting, and poking rather hard at vulnerable sides until Sollux loosened his grip enough that Karkat could roll onto his side, facing his lanky friend without getting a crook in his neck in the process. “Because he said he wanted to. Wanted... you know,” he faltered, glancing away, suddenly feeling shy, because, wow, this was not actually a conversation he ever thought he’d actually be having with Sollux, of all people, ”...me?”

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but a tsk, and the sudden feel of a forehead being pressed against his own, cutting off his sight from anything but a slightly blurry picture of Sollux’s slightly annoyed expression wasn’t it. In fact, he really wasn’t expecting any kind of reaction, because as far as he was concerned, there was nothing to have a reaction about. 

“Tho, you’d do anyone who athked nithe enough?”

Karkat gaped at him for half a moment, before snarling right in his best friends face, because how dare he go from sweetly concerned to shitlord in two seconds flat. Really, one would think he’d be used to it by now, but sometimes it was just too personal to let go.

“Ex-fucking-cuse you? First of all, I’m not some kind of slut; I _do_ have some standards, fucking thank you. And secondly, even if I did, it’s not exactly any of your business, now is it? Maybe some of us actually appreciate the feeling of being wanted every once in a while, yeah? I know that’ a difficult concept for you to understand. But who the hell are you to judge me on what I happen to do with others, anyway, huh? You stupid fu-“

His rant was cut short, Sollux pressing his hand hard against his mouth, almost too hard, slightly painfully, though he knew it was only because Sollux had learned from experience that if he gave Karkat half a chance, he’d either lick him, or bite him, which was why he had a habit of holding on so hard Karkat couldn’t open his mouth at all.

“Thut your fathe for two thecondth, Karkat; you’re tharting to thound like your brother, and that’th really fucking creepy. I’m thorry, alright? You’re right, it’th none of my buthineth who you fuck around with. I jutht, it kind of pitheth me off that you feel tho unappreciated, that you’d- ugh. Lithten. All I wanna thay ith, if that’th the way it ith, then you thould at least enjoy the act of it more then jutht thaying it’th ‘okay’. You thould get together with thomeone who’d make it the betht for you.”

Karkat wanted to roll his eyes, to tell Sollux to fuck off, everything was fine, except... it sounded really great. Maybe a bit unrealistic, but great. And fuck if that wasn’t the same kind of thing that he wanted for Sollux, because, douche though he was, he deserved the best. At least, he deserved to have a damn good first time. If only he could make sure that he did.

A second after the thought crossed Karkat’s mind, his eyes went wide, and he was grabbing onto Sollux’s wrist to try and pull his hand away, thin and delicate and almost dainty, something he’d be afraid of breaking with an ill-placed breath, if not for the wiry strength he could practically feel pulsing underneath his skin. “Sollucks. Bro. Lemm’ go,” he demanded as best as he could with half of his mouth still covered which, admittedly, wasn’t really all that well at all, but worked well enough for his cause since, after only a second or so of hesitation, Sollux did remove his hand from his mouth- though he kept his other against the back of Karkat’s head, and threw his leg halfheartedly over Karkat’s smaller frame, keeping him pinned, just for good measure.

”...What?” The question wasn’t quite dripping with suspicion, but was just paranoid enough that Karkat couldn’t help but snort, even as he pushed himself forward, closer, lifting his head until he could slant his lips up against Sollux’s own slightly chapped ones, closing his eyes to savor the way they felt a little rough under his own, since he couldn’t exactly savor the way his bespectacled friend was too surprised to respond. And when he parted his lips, deepening the kiss, he couldn’t help but notice a slight after taste of honey, which was just so fitting, Karkat couldn’t help but chuckle a little, right against Sollux’s prone mouth.

The dirty blonde haired man pulled back almost immediately at the laughter, spluttering and trying to untangle his limbs from around Karkat’s much smaller form, but his movements were awkward, like his brain wasn’t sending out commands to his limbs quite right, like it was distracted by something else. Karkat was torn between finding the awkward movements kind of adorable, or just plain pathetic. Mentally, he shrugged it off, and shifted with his friend, helping him along a little by pushing on his shoulder, rolling him onto his back, leaving Karkat room to straddle himself on his hips, quite content to just sit there until Sollux was done freaking out. Maybe even a bit longer then that, if the twitching he felt against the curve of his ass meant anything.

“ _Theriouthly!_ What the Fuck, Karkat? What do you, what even- What are you doing!?”

Karkat grunted, leaning down over Sollux’s skinny frame, arms resting on either side of his bony chest. “I know you don’t have the strongest eyesight, but even you should be able to see what’s going on. So how about you stop your blabbering, and actually put that mouth of yours to good use, huh?”

He didn’t give him a chance to argue, reaching one hand up to wrap around the back of a long neck, pulling him insistently, pleased when he only put up a very weak token of resistance before going in for his own kiss.

It wasn’t exactly the most skilled thing that Karkat had ever participated in, a lot more enthusiastic then anything, teeth pinching lips and noses bumping a little awkwardly, but it was nice. Different from the way Gamzee’s was always either slow and lazy and really pretty sloppy, or hard and fast and almost violent. It seemed a bit more personal, like a special kiss that would only be shared between them, no matter who they might go and kiss later. That special little snicker Sollux made as Karkat hissed out from a particularly sharp pain as his bottom lip got caught between teeth. The way, when Karkat pulled away, licking said lip to try and soothe the sting, there was a not so subtle aftertaste of something that seemed an awful lot like honey. The way Sollux actually made a kind of hiccuping sound when he speared his tongue inside the wet cavern of his mouth, flicking up against his hard pallet teasingly soft.

It was nice, it was great, it was quite possibly the best kiss he’d ever had, but it was also scary. Karkat was afraid if he thought too much about it, he’d find out it was too good to be true. So he didn’t let himself over think it, didn’t really let himself think about it at all, shifting and moving on to the next movement, the next step, the next task. It was simple enough to tilt his head, drag his lips from mouth to sharp jawline, licking and sucking at the soft patch of skin underneath Sollux’s ear. Nothing he had to think too hard about, easy to get lost in the scratchy feel of patchy stubble growing in, the light taste of salt on his skin, the heady musk that was just so inherently male it was enough to make his legs feel weak. So different from the scent of a woman, so similar to how he knew that he himself smelled, even though he couldn’t detect it on his own skin.

Maybe, if he did well enough, Sollux would be willing to play with him again, because damn, he could easily get addicted to the way he tasted and felt and smelled and just was.

“Fuck...! Kar-nghmph!” Sollux bit his lips, and if that wasn’t just the most adorable thing he’d ever seen the guy do, trying to keep his own voice down as Karkat worked his way down his throat, teasing the skin there with his teeth, soothing over with broad strokes of his tongue, Karkat would eat one of Aradia’s grubby old hats. It was cute, and it was something to hold over him, later, because it was the first time ever that Sollux actually ended up being louder then Karkat during something. God, it was going to be fun to tease him about it.

It was with great reluctance that he pulled away- though not before leaving a nice, dark bruise, right at the base of Sollux’s long scrawny neck, which he knew he shouldn’t have left, but he just couldn’t help himself-, proud that he only sounded a little bit breathless as he pushed himself up to a sitting position. “Captor. Where do you keep your lotion?”

”...What?” Loti- what do you need lotion fo-” It took him a little bit longer to catch onto what Karkat was saying, and when he finally did, his face lit up in a blush, though whether it was because of the insinuation, or because it took so long for him to get it was unknown. “Moving a little fatht, aren’t you, KK?”

Instead of arguing, Karkat decided to take the much more pleasurable route, and circled his hips down, grinding against the prominent bulge inside of Sollux’s shorts and drifting a hand down across his thin chest, raking his nails across his thin shirt, smirking a little smugly when his friend wasn’t able to hold back a moan, long and low and throaty.

“You’re not going to last long, man. And neither am I. So I’d like to get to the good part before you blow your load in your pants, if you don’t mind.”

“Ecks- exckthcuthe the fuck outta you,” was grumbled back, but it didn’t even manage to sound very threatening when Sollux was panting, hips bucking up in an uncharacteristically needy manner. Karkat, for once, had him right where he wanted him, and they both knew it. “Thecond bottom drawer on the left of the right motht dethck in my room.”

Karkat rolled his eyes, but pushed himself up so he could roll off, shimmying his way out of long, grasping hands. “Chill for a second there, Casanova. If you’re really that eager, make sure you’re undressed by the time I get back.” Feeling particularly cheeky and proud of himself, he even threw Sollux a wink over his shoulder as he managed to not trip his way into a room he knew almost as well as his own. He’d be beyond annoyed at himself for it later, for hamming it up so much, but right then, he was feeling pretty damn good about everything. Hell, he even managed to find Sollux’s lotion stash easily, despite the ridiculous directions he’d been given to find it. 

And when he made his way back to the living room, Sollux was sitting on the couch, shirt and glasses already off, hair a mess between Karkat’s earlier ministrations and the obvious struggle he had with his shirt, if the distance he threw it across the room was anything to go by, working furiously on getting the zipper of his pants undone, fingers actually fumbling with the metal, hissing out quiet curses.

Karkat was hit with the vague sense that things were going too well, that things never went so smoothly for him, there had to be a catch somewhere, a hidden disappointment that was going to bite him on the ass like pretty much everything else in his life had, but he shrugged off the feeling, shaking his head a little. Even if that was true, and things were just going to blow up in his face, that just meant that he had to enjoy the good while it lasted, for as long as it lasted.

He didn’t tease, although he would have been perfectly within his rights to do so; just quietly moved to sit beside him, leaning against his side even as he rested the lotion against the arm of the couch, pressing a kiss that was dangerously close to tender against the meat of Sollux’s shoulder.

“Want a little help?”

Sollux, glanced sideways towards him, dirty blond bangs coming dangerously close to obstructing his vision, his hazel colored eye narrowed for a second, obviously trying to judge just how sarcastic the question was, before lowering his gaze, notably eying the fact that Karkat’s own jeans were still very much on.

“Why don’t you take care of your pantth, and I can take care of mine.”

Karkat fought back a snicker- he was reaching his limit of laughs he could have in a single day, can’t be overindulging in something like that-, and shrugged, leaning back a little as he began to toe off his socks. “Hey, man, whatever you want.”

He leaned back even more, until he was resting on his elbows, raising his hips at the same time his fingers worked in familiar movements to unbutton his jeans, unzipping, just so that he could hook his thumbs underneath the hem, hooking his boxers at the same time, seeing no need to waist any time. He had to shift a little, shimmying to work the fabric down thighs that were a bit too damn thick for his liking, his half hard member swaying a little between them with the movement, and normally he’d put up a hell of a fight before exposing them, but Sollux was going to be far too busy to say anything about the size of his thighs. Or the softness of his stomach. Karkat was going to make sure of that.

When he finally got them off, pushing them off to the side where, hopefully, he would neither lose them or trip over them when trying to get up, he glanced over to see that Sollux had made absolutely no progress with his own pants- probably because he wasn’t even making an attempt anymore, eyes glued onto the new, exposed bits of Karkat’s soft skin. So he rolled his eyes, not bothering to take off his sweater as he slid off of the couch, onto his knees, insistently pushing long legs apart so he could fit himself between them, batting away the normally competent hands.

“And here I thought you weren’t quite useless,” he tsked, softly, tone not nearly as harsh as his words. “But I guess if you want something done right, or at least before the next ice age, then you have to do it yourself.” He glanced up, an automatic gesture to check on Sollux’s emotions, to make sure he wasn’t be taken too seriously, to make sure that he didn’t have to apologize, and make sure that they were still on good terms. He didn’t expect how Sollux would be looking at him so... intently. Although, to be fair, when the guy _was_ actually looking at something, that seemed to be the only way he could look.

That fact didn’t stop Karkat’s face from heating up, practically burning red, even as he ducked his head and reached up half blindly to try and push his friend’s face back, or to the side, anything to break the visual contact for a moment, somehow managing to get his sharp chin, and push up, forcing his head up and back. “Stop looking at me like that, asshole! _I_ shouldn’t be the one feeling self-conscious when you’re the one who couldn’t get out of his fucking shorts. Bastard.”

Karkat would’ve expected to be berated, to have some sort of snark thrown his way, because that was just how their friendship worked, they bitched and snipped and snarked, playing the classic game of ‘who can pretend to not give a fuck the longest’, then a few minutes of assuring each other and themselves that things are cool, before starting over again. Rinse and repeat.

He hadn’t expected Sollux to take a hold of his wrist, long thin fingers looking especially pale as they wrapped him, pulling his hand off of his face, only to hold it still as he pressed his lips against his palm, a move that was surprisingly sentimental and not at all surprisingly super effective at melting Karkat’s heart.

“If you don’t want me to look, then you need to learn how to not be tho hot when you’re in my line of thight.” It came off as a little chastising, but it was hard to be upset about that, considering that it was also a compliment that Karkat hadn’t seen coming.

”...Shut up, Captor.” He tried to sound gruff, carefully tugging his hand out of Sollux’s hold- not before he managed to nip at his fingertips- focusing on using both hands to free Sollux from the confines of his denim shorts, sitting back on his heels so that he would have enough room to pull them down, off his bony hips, down pale, slender thighs. And exposing the proud rise of his erection, tall and flushing red, long and slender like his fingers. Girth wise, it wasn’t even really half of as wide as Gamzee’s had been, but that wasn’t especially a bad thing, especially when he was actually as long, with a gorgeous curve, perfectly made to hit those hidden sweet spots. His breath actually caught, his own cock pulsing in interest where it sat between his own slightly spread legs, brushing up against the hem of his sweatshirt.

He didn’t even bother to pull the shorts all the way down and off, just down and over his knees enough that he could lean in, right arm reaching for the lotion he’d left on the couch, even as his left arm draped itself over a thin leg, hand slowly, almost lazily wrapping around the length, squeezing experimentally, beyond pleased when it visibly twitched in his hold. Sollux was responsive, and responsive was good. Definitely something that he could work with.

He sent up a quick thanks to whatever being that may be up there in the sky that Sollux had gotten the lotion in the easy to use pump dispenser, since trying to actually open anything one handed would have probably been disastrous. As it was, it wasn’t the most graceful motion he’d ever made, angling the bottle so that he could squirt plenty of cold lotion onto his thigh, jaw clenching at the chill before he could place the bottle down and carefully beginning to coat one, two, three fingers. Luckily, he was positioned in such a way that Sollux couldn’t actually see what his free hand had been doing, and even if he had been, Karkat was pretty sure he would’ve been distracted with the way he started to stroke him, pulling out every trick he knew, thumb brushing up against the overheated, flushed head when it could, giving a little twist of his wrist when he reached the top, which earned him a pleased sounding gasp. And when it started to look like Sollux was maybe getting a little bit used to his rhythm, he brought his hand all the way up, pressing his palm against the slick head, rubbing clockwise, then counter clockwise, snickering a little when Sol’s hips bucked up, uncontrolled, and very unSollux-like.

Sollux groaned, and whined, and writhed, everything Karkat could ask for. He was a sight, a vision, proof that Karkat could manage to do a few things right every once in a while, could make someone even as notoriously picky as the youngest Captor let go for a while and just enjoy the sensations.

Maybe it was because the thought of that warmed his heart, and went straight to his loins,making everything hot and molten and _hard_. Maybe it was because he'd never seen Sollux more gorgeous then he was then, red and squirming, chest heaving with each breath and sharp hips canting, swaying, thrusting, looking for more and more friction, focus, attention. Maybe it was because, when it came right down to it, he never could deny Sollux anything, especially his unspoken requests.

Or maybe it's just been too long since he'd allowed himself the pleasure of going down on someone else. Maybe it didn't matter why he shifted forward, even as he place his moistened hand between his legs, wasting no time with either his mouth or his fingers, closing his eyes as he placed a wet, open mouth kiss right on the tip of Sol's cock, lapping quickly at his drooling slit, the salty, musky taste making him moan softly just as much as the feeling of him rubbing the tips of his index and middle finger against his entrance.

A part of him realized that he really shouldn't be blowing his best friend if he wanted him to last longer then a few seconds inside of him, and that by doing that it just meant that he'd have even less time to properly stretch and prepare himself, and God knew that it had been a while since he'd had anything substantial in his ass, and he needed all the time he could get.

The rest of him effectively told that little part to shut the hell up, and bobbed his way down the cock of his mouth, tongue tracing wrinkles and indents, feeling veins pulse hot and hard, memorizing textures and flavors for dark, lonely nights, to distract him during the days. He just worked his tongue, and hollowed his cheeks, sucking hard and fast, and working his fingers just the same, stroking the rest of Sollux that he couldn't quite fit in his mouth and plunging one, two fingers inside of himself, scissoring hard. That last bit wasn't the most comfortable thing he'd done in the world, but the scent of Sollux, aroused Sollux was making his head fuzzy, more then enough so to let the pleasure of what he was doing to his friend mask and blend with the twinges of discomfort in his own ass, until it was a dull pleasure plain. Something familiar. Something he enjoyed.

"Kuh... Kay...! I, I think I might-" Sollux didn't even get to finish his sentence before he was pulling off, jaw a tiny bit sore- fuck, he was so out of practice- but smiling when the blond whined, throwing his head back and hissing out a curse. "Fuck you, Vantath, you thon of a whoring-"

Karkat tsked, slapping Sollux's boney knee with his free hand, working a third finger in quickly, too quickly, wincing slightly, and didn't really keep it in long enough to actually be of any help, but he'd deal with the consequences tomorrow. Maybe try to guilt Sollux into buying him some ice cream or something. Not the cheap shit, though. His ass deserved nothing but the finest of Häagen-Dazs for giving Sollux his first lay, surely.

"That would be the point, Captor," he said slowly, like he was explaining something to a young, hard headed child, which earned him a sneer. Until he stood up, and placed a knee on either side of his slender hips, clean hand being placed down on his chest, pinning him down- and he could feel Sol's heart fluttering there, pushing up against his palm with each beat, fuck, that was even better then having his dick in his mouth, and that had been unarguably the best thing to have happened to Karkat in months- while the other encircling his shaft, holding him straight up and steady as he lowered himself and...

Yes. There. Right there.

Sollux's tip was right there, pressed boldly up against his hole, and even despite the fact of very much knowing that he wasn't, he felt huge. Gigantic. Impossible large. But even as nerves began to jump around in his stomach, so did anticipation. He had felt empty, wanting, _hungry_ , his ass greedy for the stretch and burn and then the fullness, his heart aching for the closeness and connection. So when his eyes unconsciously glanced downwards, to his friend's familiar face, and saw Sollux gazing back at him, eyes locking, pupils blown wide, reflecting just how much he wanted it too, he didn't even bother to deny either of them any longer.

He relaxed the muscles in his legs, letting gravity do all of the hard work of getting the blunt head of his friend's, for now lover's cock inside of him. That was always the hardest park, and sure enough, once the it forced it's way through the tight ring of muscles- that Karkat really did try to relax, but he just wasn't as used to it as he'd once been, not as loose anymore, and it wasn't easy, dammit-, the shaft followed much easier, and he was halfway down Sollux before he had to pause, panting, brows drawn low as he concentrated on getting used to the feeling.

"...Karkat?" He blinked, forcing his eyes to focus on Sollux, who's expression was tightly drawn, brown shiny with sweat, worrying him for a second until he realized it was just because he was forcing himself to not move, to stay still for the smaller man, until he was ready for him again. "You... You okay?"

His lips twitched up in a little, quick, _fond_ smile, heart beating so fast in his ears that it practically drowned out every other sound. His ass hurt, his dick had gone to half mast, and he was going to have a hard time walking tomorrow, but

"I'm fan-fucking-tastic." And he had never, ever meant that phrase more then he did, right then.

Experimentally, he shifted his hips a little, changing the angle around, trying to find one that would make thrusting a little easier, and Sollux gasped, like a fish out of water, desperate for air, and his hand, his hand thrust forward, taking a hold of the wrist of the hand that he'd been using to finger himself, to guide Sollux, pulling it closer to him until he could easily lace their fingers together. Like this meant something to him.

Like Karkat meant something to him.

With renewed determination, Karkat pushed up his hips, then lowered them. It wasn't nearly as fast as he wanted to go, but each time he came back down, he took in another inch or so, and before he even knew it, he was sheathing Sollux as fully as he'd ever be able to, resting completely flush on his lap, experimentally tightening around the intrusion to get a really good feel for it, to memorize, to make a note of the fact that that was _Sollux Captor's_ cock inside of him.

" _KK_...! Thtop, or I'll... I can't, you'll, you'll make me...!" His voice was rough, strained, and Karkat's own cock perked up about half an inch, just hearing him, the tone, what he was saying. "You're gonna fucking thqueeth my dick off!"

"Don't you dare hold back on me, Captor," he growled back, rolling his hips, gasping loudly when he found his prostate halfway around, and did it again. Oh, yes, welcome back completely, boner. "Give it to me. Give me all you got, do it _now_!"

As if on command, Sollux's hips rocked upwards. Now, as far as Karkat had sunken onto him, that didn't do much, but when the smaller man matched the roll of his hips to the stuttering tempo, they both started to pant, hard, and it didn't take long at all for Sollux's eyes to roll to the back of his head.

Almost too late, Karkat scrambled his way off, the first surge of hot, white cum mostly inside of his ass, a little on his ass, and he could feel it starting to slowly slide it's way out even as the next surge hit the top of his thigh, a bit of his stomach, and even crossed his own cock. Which, no doubt, was hot in and of itself, and why, as he flopped sideways onto the couch next to where Sollux was sprawled half on it, the hand that had been on Sol's chest mindlessly, immediately wrapped around his shorter erection, smearing it with the jizz, making thrusting into the tight grip of his hand easy, so very easy.

He wasn't as close as Sollux had been, though, between the pain and the overwhelming feeling of being stretched that still ghosted in the sudden emptiness of his ass, too many sensations and feelings distracting him from getting off before Sollux regained control of himself, even though he wanted to. He whimpered, frustrated, hips jerking against his own hand, and even tugged his other hand out of Sollux's grip- how he managed that, he had now idea, since that hand actually felt a little bruised from just how damn hard his hacker friend had gripped him as he came, and even after, like he was afraid Karkat was going to leave or something-, hoping that using both hands would do the job where one couldn't.

But then he felt a sharp slap on his arm, stinging even through the thick fabric of the sweatshirt he was still wearing, and froze, looking almost guiltily over at a dazed looking Sollux. "Hold up. Jethuth.. What are you even doing, Thithead? Lemme." He pulled Karkat's hands away, strong despite the way his own hands were shaking slightly, though whether it was from nerves or from coming down from an intense orgasm, Karkat couldn't tell- and curled over on himself, bringing his face close, like he was going to-

Like Sollux was going to-

Like he would-

Karkat's hands slammed up against his face, wet and messy, both of them now, leaving sticky residue behind even as the muffled the rumbling keen that shook his entire body, back arching up even as he felt his balls pull in close, and release, sinfully sweet and addictive, rolling through his body, first making him tense, then absolutely boneless, hands sliding off slowly, feet and legs sliding on the floor, melting into the couch even as he saw Sollux's grimace.

Grimacing because his face was streaked with Karkat's own cum, because he came without Sollux even actually doing more then breath on him, like some untried teenager.

Nothing could sober a person up quicker then fear and self loathing, but Karkat still wobbled as he tried to sit up, still slurred a little when he said, "Fuck, shit, _damn_ , 'M so _sorry_ , stupidstupid _stupid_! Didn' mean to, didn'- Are you m'kay? Sorry, so sorry, so-"

There was Sollux's hand again, hard against his mouth, pushing Karkat's head back into the couch a little even as he sat up, pulling off his two toned glasses, which had kept jizz from his eyes but had been severely covered themselves in doing so, and blinked, licking the corner of his lip, smearing some of the cum by there, grinning a little when he felt, heard, saw Karkat whimper.

"Chill the fuck out. Everything ith fine. Jutht meanth that necktht time, I get to blow a load all over your fathe."

The words 'necktht time' echoed through Karkat's mind as they both settled down, and then cleaned up, Sollux taking notice of the smaller man's wince whenever he moved to fast, and volunteered to get some tissues and a washcloth, though Karkat insisted on cleaning himself up. He did let Sollux help him back into his boxers, though, and didn't put up any kind of attempt at a struggle as the taller man carefully situated himself around him, curling up against him, for once being mindful of the uncomfortable points and angles his bones made.

Five minutes into the most comfortable cuddle he'd ever had with his best friend, he finally voiced the words he'd been thinking, turning his head, and looking at the long, sharp blade of his nose out of the corner of one wide eye.

"Are we still friends?"

There was another pause, but before Karkat could get too anxious, Sollux was wrapping him into a one armed hug, squeezing him tightly back against his chest, even as he rested his chin right above his head.

"KK, we're anything you want uth to be."

**Author's Note:**

> What, nobody asked for long Humanstuck Smut with a not virgin Karkat making sure Sollux is well taken care of when he turns in his V-card?
> 
> Oh.
> 
> Well, you got it, anyway.
> 
> Slightly based off of my own lackluster- though perfectly okay- first time, and wondering how a hopeless romantic who is also always down on himself like Karkat would handle it. Of course the situation would have to be solved with more sex. Better sex. Yay sex.


End file.
